Seven Things
by CrazyKitCat
Summary: Some of the things Fred does drives Hermione up the wall on a regular day, but heaven forbid he be crazy enough to mess with her notes. Oh wait... He'd do anything for a good joke. Fortunately, he doesn't see her as just another prankee and she loves him despite his more irksome traits. How does he make it up to her when he takes a joke to far and she gets MAD? Warning: lemony smut
**WARNING: LEMONS AND SMUT ALERT! There are some visual and suggestive scenes in here! Please, don't read this if you're under the age of 18 or are not into reading about sex!**

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 _"You're vain, your games, you're insecure_

 _You love me, you like her_

 _You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy_

 _Your friends, they're jerks, and when you act like them, just know it hurts_

 _I wanna be with the one I know_

 _And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do_

 _You make me love you." — Miley Cyrus "7 Things"_

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Hermione stormed down the hall, fuming. The prank Fred and George had just pulled in the Great Hall was the last straw. Why did they always seem to target her?

She had simply been minding her own business, trying to enjoy her dinner while reviewing and cleaning up her notes from Charms when her ink pot had exploded and covered her (and her things) in a layer of black ink. A simple "scourgify" had cleaned her person and belongings, but when she performed a special charm on her parchment designed to only clear the wet ink off, leaving the dried notes intact, she discovered her notes had become invisible. She had tried casting several other spells to make the now-invisible ink visible again, but to no avail.

She sent a glare towards the guilty, smirking, red-haired twins before stuffing all of her belongings in her bag and storming out of the hall.

As a whole, Fred Weasley was infuriating. Everything about him made her hot in anger.

He recklessly tested his potentially harmful experiments on first years without any serious concern to their well-being. He "compensated" for that by paying them, but Hermione didn't care about that or the willingness of the participant. What did they know? When they were 11, she, Harry, and Ron had thought it a good idea to help smuggle an illegal dragon, fight a fully grown mountain troll, and attempt to compete against the intelligence of wizards far superior to themselves while trying to keep the Sorcerer's Stone from Voldemort. They were too young to have a fully developed sense of reason and she was beginning to think Fred and George were too. It was too dangerous. They were experimenting with very dangerous and some potentially deadly ingredients for the sake of a joke shop.

On top of that, she found it infuriating how neither twin ever seemed to study, yet always had reasonably good grades. He and George always skated through exams as if they were a breeze, yet she had never seen them pouring over schoolbooks in an attempt to learn. She'd occasionally seen them looking through some library books for research on their pranks, but never for their studies. He went through life as if it was the easiest thing he had ever thought of attempting and pranks were the only things that mattered.

But it wasn't just his study habits or obsession with jokes that frustrated her. Fred's overconfidence and flirtatious attitude drove her up the wall. Whenever she tried to scold him and make him see his wrong, he would try to distract her by shamelessly flirting with her. She loathed to admit that it had even worked on more than one occasion. After all, it wasn't as if she had men lining up to compliment her. But as soon as she was done lecturing, he'd turn around and flirt with the next girl he saw. She didn't know if it even mattered to him if they had a pulse. She didn't even care that he was a shameless flirt. He always had been—it was part of his "charm". What she _did_ mind was how easily she fell under his spell. She was _Hermione Granger_ after all. She was too intelligent to be so easily affected by a charming, good-looking man.

The one thing she did take pleasure in was that she'd noticed that he tended to flirt and tease her more than other girls. She just didn't know if he did it because he truly cared about her, or if he just saw her reactions as a form of entertainment.

She wasn't even mad at George. He at least _pretended_ to be apologetic. He had Angelina to keep him in line when he went too far, not that he was typically the instigator. No, that had always been more of Fred's job, despite how they always willingly shared the blame.

In her opinion, Fred needed a "controller." He needed an "Angelina" to hold him back when he tried to go too far. But no one seemed to have quite the same affect on him that Angelina had on George. He had calmed down a lot more than anyone could have imagined when he started dating Angelina the previous year after she had dumped Fred. Hermione theorized it was because Fred was so uncontrollable.

"You know, you really shouldn't talk to yourself, Granger. People might start to think you've gone loopy," she could hear his smirk behind her. She groaned and internally banged her head against the wall. She hadn't realized she had been muttering to herself out loud. Hoping it would help her calm down, she took a deep breath before turning around to face the cause of her headache (and his twin).

"If I _did_ go loopy, Fred Weasley, I know just the pair of red-headed demons to blame for sending me off the deep end… What do you want?" she asked the annoying one, choosing to just nod at George. He hadn't been behind this prank. She knew that much by instinct. This maliciousness could only be caused by Fred.

"Is that really what you think?" he asked, ignoring her question to ask his own. "That if I became completely besotted with some bird, then I'd spend my time chasing her skirt instead of experimenting on—sorry, " _working with_ "—innocent and impressionable first years? That I'd give up on my dreams and the curiosity and intrigue that make me unique to roll over and curl up in the palm of her hand?"

"Melodramatic much?" she asked without humor. "I never said you'd give up your dreams. I was thinking that you _may_ start to hold back a bit and _think_ about the _consequences_ of your actions before making _some_ bad decisions. For example, experimenting your untested and possibly dangerous concoctions on _eleven year olds_."

Fred's jaw dropped in indignation. "We already _told_ you that we test our products on ourselves first and just want to see–"

"Let me finish Fredrick Weasley!" she cut him off with a growl. "You and George are _brilliant_. In most of my reading, I haven't found others as willing or successful in trying new things as the two of you are. The ideas and pranks you come up with are amazing. However, you destroy all of the trust and respect you've built up for that by making stupid and potentially-dangerous decisions."

"You think I'm brilliant?" he smirked.

" _Is that all you heard from what I just said?!_ " she shrieked in anger. "I swear, does that oversized ego of yours hear anything of consequence, or does it just exist to absorb information that strokes your male pride?"

He pretended to consider her question for a moment. "Mostly the pride," he nodded in affirmation, "However, it occasionally picks up a little more… _useful_ information," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She groaned in frustration, before seemingly giving up and throwing her hands up in exasperation. "I swear… You're infuriating."

"I can help you get rid of a bit of that pent-up _frustration_ , if you like?" Fred suggested meaningfully.

"And how would you suggest you do that?"

"I can think of a few things," he said confidently, eyes growing darker as he took in her flushed and heaving chest, taking a step towards her.

"Oh?" she arched an eyebrow in dark amusement. "I think someone needs to take a _long_ walk to a _cold_ shower. Don't you?" she smirked as she blatantly glanced down at his growing arousal.

If she was forced to pick one thing about Fred Weasley that she hated most, she'd say it was the way she felt when that one corner of his mouth curled up into that oh-so-attractive smirk as he bent over to face her at eye-level. That smirk alone made her want to just pounce on him in the middle of the—

"How about you _make_ me, _Miss_ Prefect?" The feeling of his hot breath fanning across her face was the last thing she remembered before she pounced.

Fred easily caught the flying witch in his arms as their lips melded together. He had seen the darkening in her eyes and had easily predicted what was coming. He had even encouraged it. It wasn't as if he spent practically every moment he wasn't working imagining how she'd look panting under him sans clothing. Oh, wait… He did.

Their lips, tongue, and teeth clashed as their hands pawed at each other, trying to get closer. Without thinking, he spun her around and pinned her against the wall, pushing his body flush against her own. He groaned into her mouth at the feel of her soft breasts pressing against his toned chest through their school robes. His hands explored her sides before he gripped her ass, signaling for her to wrap her legs around his waist. She did so without hesitation and he easily used the momentum of her tiny jump to lift her higher on the wall, taking the opportunity to grind their hips together.

Both of them pulled away to groan at the feeling of their cores connecting.

"Classroom," she panted as he started attacking the long expanse of her neck, eager to leave a mark on her pale flesh. He grunted in acknowledgement, feeling behind her for the door of the unused classroom he knew they were near.

By the time he found the handle, flung the door open, carried her inside and kicked the door closed, she had already unbuttoned his shirt and was trying to get to his belt, but it was proving difficult with how closely pressed together they were.

"You—drive—me—fucking—mad," she growled between kisses and nips at his neck. The feeling of her teeth on his skin caused him to become even harder in his pants. He quickly set her down on the closest desk and used his now-free hands to start massaging her legs, starting from her knees and heading quickly towards the apex of her thighs.

"You seem to like it just fine," he smirked as he ripped her underwear off from under her skirt. He reclaimed her mouth with his own as he slid a finger between her folds to find her already sufficiently wet for him. He thrust two fingers into her core as he thrust his tongue in her mouth. He groaned at the back of throat at the feeling of her wet tightness squeezing his fingers, imagining it was his cock in their place.

"Pants," he panted into her ear as he moved to tease the lobe between his teeth. He needed her _now_. She seemed to be thinking along the same lines he was as he felt her finally get his belt free and pull his length from the confines of his clothes. He hissed at the feeling of the cold air and her soft hand on his sensitive _and ready_ member. He pulled back to look into her eyes.

"Ready?" he asked as he pulled her wet fingers from her weeping core, spreading the wetness on his member as he gave himself a few hard strokes.

"If you don't fuck me _right now_ Fred Weasley, I swear I'll hex your balls off," she threatened, her voice husky with desire as he lined himself up with her center.

Only the knowledge that they could be caught at any point kept the pair from crying out when he slipped into her tight sheath. He paused for only a moment to let her adjust before setting a brutal and punishing pace. Neither was in the mood for sweet and slow lovemaking. This was about raw desire and need, and both _needed_ to reach their ends.

Despite their lack of foreplay, they were both already rapidly approaching their peaks. Fred struggled to hold himself back as he felt the young witch clench down on him. He was close—too close—but he was determined to make her come before he did.

"Fr–Fred… I'm soo close… I-I need—" Hermione panted beneath him, her hips rising to meet his in their frantic rhythm.

Fred understood. He moved to lean down and seal her lips between his as he moved one hand from where it rested on her hips to finger the bundle of nerves above her opening.

If she had been free to, she would have cried out in ecstasy as she was flung over the edge into an orgasm that had her quaking in his arms as stars blurred her vision.

He only lasted a few more thrusts before the feeling of her core spasming around his dick caused him to spill his seed into her.

He collapsed in exhaustion on top of her as both struggled to catch their breath.

"You know I _am_ sorry, right?" Fred asked after a few moments, pulling back slightly to look his girlfriend in the eyes.

"No you're not," she whispered with a knowing smile as she threaded her fingers through his hair to massage his scalp, legs still wrapped around his waist as she cradled him to her in a brief moment of intimacy. "But I think I'll forgive you as long as you can fix my notes."

"Done," he smirked as he grabbed his wand from the back pocket of his pants and waved it at her bag. "I can't have the brightest witch of her age angry at me, can I?"

"Last week, you said I was the sexiest," she teased as he pulled out of her and both started to fix their clothes.

"And I meant it," he replied honestly as he pulled his pants back up from where they had fallen around his knees. "You do realize I just fucked you in the middle of a classroom with most of our clothes on because you're so hot I couldn't wait long enough to get undressed to fuck you?"

" _Language_ , Fred!" she faked bewildered shock at his crass language. The truth was, she had heard him say much, _much_ worse the multiple times they made love in the Room of Requirement. "Did you _have_ to tear my underwear? I really liked this pair," she sighed in resignation at the loss, moving to stuff the useless scrap in her bag, before he grabbed it from her.

Stuffing her ruined underwear in his pocket, he winked at her. "I'll just keep this," he explained with a cheshire cat smile.

He just winked and stuck his tongue out at her as she pouted like a petulant child, knowing there was no way she was getting those back. "Just… Don't let anyone find them," she begged as they finished straightening their clothes.

He gave her a triumphant, loving smile as she conceded her loss. It only lasted a moment, before the smile fell slightly and a serious look crossed his face.

"We can't keep hiding this, Mione," he murmured into her hair as he pulled her into his arms. They had been dating for months and while he wanted to scream that she was his from the top of the Astronomy tower, she was still reluctant to bring their relationship out into the open. He kissed the top of her head before leaning back just enough to look her straight in the eyes. "Everyone is going to find out sooner or later."

"They'll find out a lot sooner, if you don't hurry up and pull your pants back on," they heard George break his silence from the lookout he had taken in the hallway after Fred had started to molest the eager mouth of his secret girlfriend. It certainly wasn't the first time one of them had played "look-out" while the other got lucky. Fred had lost count of how many times he had saved George and Angelina from getting caught before he got distracted by a relationship of his own.

Hermione couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter at their situation. It was short lasting, though as they heard the clock strike and realized that students were about to flood the halls after dinner. Quickly straightening their clothes, grabbing their things, and casting a quick charm to erase all evidence of their _presence_ in the classroom, they joined George in the hallway. Ignoring George's teasing and knowing smirk, the three started to head back upstairs towards the Gryffindor common room. They were halfway there when Hermione came to a sudden stop and grabbed Fred's hand, causing him to halt too.

"Yes, love?" he asked her, confused. During their walk, she had taken on a quiet, thoughtful expression and he had left her alone with her thoughts as he talked with his brother about their newest product. Her new expression concerned him though.

"How about now?" she asked with a challenging smirk. His brow furrowed in confusion.

"What are you–" he didn't have time to finish his question as she grabbed the back of his neck to pull him down into a searing kiss. His eyes widened in surprise as the sudden unexpected movement caused him to lose his balance and stumble. At the same moment he regained their balance, a group of their housemates turned a corner to find a shocked, but happy Fred Weasley eagerly kissing a very happy Hermione Granger.

"Well," said Dean Thomas with an amused smirk at the slack-jawed look on Harry and Ron's faces. "It's about damn time they came out into the open."

"Damn right," Seamus agreed. "I was getting tired of pretending we all didn't know."

"We knew?" Neville asked, surprised.

"Ahem," George called out to the now laughing Gryffindors. "Ladies and gents! All bets on when Fred and Hermione will come out of the closet are now closed," George smirked at his choice of words, winking at his brother. "Time for you lot to pay up!"

"And what, exactly, will we be paying up on, Mr. Weasley?" Professor McGonagall asked, amused as she came up behind them before catching sight of the still-embracing couple. "Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley!" Professor McGonagall's shrill and shocked voice finally broke into the couple's private world and they quickly pulled apart blushing. Their professor gave them both a stern look.

"Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger… My office. Now," she told them after a moment. "The rest of you, back to your dormitories," her voice left no room for argument.

The smiling Gryffindors quickly heeded their Head of House's orders, exchanging money for their bets as they went. The stern look Professor McGonagall gave the couple was undermined by the smile in her eyes as she turned to lead them back to her office.

As they followed her, Fred and Hermione kept sneaking happy and guilty smiles at each other. They couldn't hold hands thanks to the constant stares from Umbridge's hidden Inquisitorial Squad, but they made sure to brush their hands against each other as much as possible to compensate.

The "stern lecture" and "detention" Fred and Hermione later received in McGonagall's office for the sake of appearances to Umbridge were totally undermined by McGonagall's motherly smile and her offering of biscuits and congratulations. Even she and the other teachers knew that the couple would be good for each other. However, as she lectured them on "the proper decorum for the hallowed halls of this great school," she made a mental note to collect her prize money from Professor Flitwick. She had been right about their bet, after all.

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 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was listening to my iPod on shuffle while working on some of my projects when this song came on. I was surprised since I had honestly forgotten that I still owned any Miley Cyrus in my music library, but since I'm on a Harry Potter fandom kick right now, the idea of Hermione being mad at Fred for testing on first years while harboring a secret crush came to me. Obviously, that developed into something much more and now we have my first published attempt at something smutty. I wrote and edited this in one evening, so I understand if it's not brilliant, but I'd still like to hear your thoughts.**

 **Recently, I've been toying with the idea of writing more mature stories and I have several in progress, but this is my first finished one. I admit I have absolutely no first-hand experience, so all of this is inspired from what I've read in other stories.**

 **Please let me know what you think!**


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